Friday afternoon, September 12, I started to feel the pain from my lower back going to my abdomen. I thought to myself, Is this true labor or not? The pain is not that intense (yet) though it is quite painful so I continued doing the things I needed to do at home. I never thought the pain will persist and will intensify as nighttime came. Around 3 in the morning, I could not sleep through it anymore, so I get up and prepare my older son’s things. I was thinking to bring him to the hospital but I know it would not be possible. My grandmother just died and my mother who is supposed to take care of my son when I gave birth went home to our province. So I am now confuse as to what to do until my sister called and told me to leave my eldest son at my brother’s and my mother would pick him up there and bring him to the province. I was relieved. It’s a good thing my son cooperated. I labored for the whole day of Saturday and night time comes still no progress. My cervix would not open. I could no longer bear to go another whole night of laboring and so I and my husband decided for a C Section like before. I gave birth September 13, Saturday night. Oh I wanted so much to have VBAC but I failed. I am glad though for the strength God had given me during those times. Now we are at home and adjustments are around the corner. I never thought it could be this hard taking care of the baby with my eldest son also craving for my attention not to mention my role as a wife. Maybe in his young mind he is wondering why things at home suddenly change. It breaks my heart to see my son cry when mommy cannot be with him at some pointy of time because the baby also needs mommy. He told me "to put the baby down and sleep here in my room mommy". I am exclusively breastfeeding my baby (thinking to do so until he reach 6 months before mixed- feeding with formula) and we all know especially those who have done it before that breastfeeding really requires a lot of time. It is time consuming but I believe it is the best for my baby. No matter how much I explain to my son about our situation, I know he doesn't understand it yet. I am trying my best to be there for him and the baby at the same time. I told him that when the baby grow up just like him they can play together and I can see the excitement on his face and he added that they will ride a bus and swim in the river=) (Two of his favorite thing - bus and river) My husband told me to just hold my peace because I am still adjusting to the situation. I know “this too shall pass”. I live each day doing the best I can and with a lot of help and grace from my Almighty Father, I will be able to be the mother and wife God wants me to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment